Monday 3 March 2008

Enjoy our fun quiz!

Paul needs to have some beer for an evening when his friends come round. Nini is going to the supermarket, but Paul is undecided which beer he would like - and so asks her to call him from the 'wine and spirits' aisle of Tesco, and he will then choose based on what is on offer. Becks beer is on special offer, at 20 bottles for £9.99. The supermarket is 5 miles away and the family car costs about 25 pence per mile to run. Ninis mobile phone plan means a call home will cost 25 pence for the first five minutes.
Given that, on unloading the car in the rain, Paul drops the box of Becks beer and smashes half of the bottles:

1) How angry, on a scale of 1 to 10, will he be?

2) If, during the course of cleaning the mess up, he then cuts his right-hand thumb open, how angry will he then be?

3) When considered calmly and rationally, whose fault is this?
a) Pauls
b) Nobodies really, it's just one of those things

4) Despite the answer to the previous question, who will Paul actually blame?
a) Nini
b) Becks beers, for making boxes with crappy cardboard handles that tear in the wet
c) Environmentalists, on the premise that it is under pressure from them that Becks have used increasingly thinner cardboard on their box handles, making them susceptible to tearing in the wet
d) Ford cars, because the loading height on a Focus is "stupidly high"
e) "The government"

5) The bottles broke just behind the rear nearside wheel of the car. Given that it was raining heavily while Paul cleared up, and his thumb was bleeding, what is the percentage chance he has missed a bit of glass which he will then reverse over the next day, puncturing his tyre?

Later on during the evening Paul eats some Salt'n'Vinegar chipsticks and foolishly gets some of the vinegar flavouring in the open cut.

6) How much did this hurt? (You may express your answer logarithmically)

7) If the volume of Pauls scream was 3 Decibels per 'E number' contained in the chipsticks, did he scream loud enough to wake his sleeping children?

8) Why did he not have a plaster on the cut to stop such incidents happening?
a) He is too stupid.
b) The only plasters available had 'Disney Princess' pictures on them, and he was afraid that wearing one would bring a shitstorm of ridicule down on him when his friends arrived.
c) There were no longer any plasters available, because they had had 'Disney Princess' pictures on them - making them irresistible to his eldest daughter, who has cheerfully worn one a day on her school jumper for the last week as a kind of sticker.

Answers next post!


Anonymous said...

Oh that was wonderful. How clever.

Everything that goes wrong in this house is always MY fault and anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But I do try really really really hard to never drop and waste alcohol.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I feel your acetic pain.

I was finger slicing at the weekend, Stanley-knife fashion. After a long lie down to fully recover I resumed, thinking "I'll be MUCH more careful now", and consequently did not cut my finger again.

No, I stuffed the blade into my palm instead.

dougalfish said...

Surely such an injury necessitates a trip to A&E! This kind of stuff is always the dog's fault at our house .. we don't have a dog, but ...